August 2011
Inhale. Exhale.
What I currently need to remember to do.
July 2011
Home Alone
Who needs clothes anyway?
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Returned a dress today
Me: Hi, I'd like to return this.
Cashier: Okay, do you have a receipt?
Me: No.
Cashier: Oh, that's too bad. See, without the receipt I can only give you store credit or mail you the amount that the dress is currently selling for. Not what you bought it for.
Me: Oh.
Cashier: Unless it was a gift. Was it a gift?
[the longest pause in the whole entire world]
Me: If I say it was a gift... do I... get my money back?
Cashier [laughing]: Well you'd get credit for the full price of the dress.
Me: Okay. It was a gift.
[another very long pause]
Cashier: Ugh, here, just give me your debit card.
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dirtydallimore:
Saved By The Bell Theme Song
...
Expanding my music collection yet again.
It always makes me happy.
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“Don’t worry about where I’ma be, ‘cause I’ma be on these...”
– Childish Gambino
Killer koolaid is delicious.
torieo:
It just needs to come in a bigger pitcher if I’m going to pay $12.99 for it.
Amen sistah.
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Things That I Remember From My Dream Last Night
Went to an old friend’s birthday party and all of my current friends were there. She randomly pulled out a huge bag filled with joints and passed one to everybody. I didn’t even light mine but pretended to smoke it anyway. Michael kept telling me his mouth was numb and his tongue was broken after one puff.
Went to a camp run by this guy who used to be a huge pothead. The camp had a...
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Just as you are.
Mark: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements that are ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences. I realize that when I met you at the Turkey Curry Buffet that I was unforgiveably rude... and wearing a reindeer jumper... that my mother had given me the day before. But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you. Very much.
Bridget: Apart from the smoking and the drinking and the vulgar mother and the verbal diarrhea...
Mark: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
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breeze-y asked: I needed to share this with someone
palinherpderp ytmnd com
palinherpderp ytmnd com
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More often than I care to admit.
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dontberude replied to your photo: I love these new pants more than anything else.
i want this outfit. perfect
Shop at Gap, and you could very well have it. The top, the pants and the clutch are all from there. Also, Thank you! :D
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YOU AND I IS GAGA'S NEXT SINGLE?!
If you don’t do this song justice with the video, I swear on everything in my life, GaGa, that I will hunt you down, and make you re-do the video, the way I’ve been imagining it in my head. Because I’ve been imagining it in my head for ever. You said it wasn’t going to be a single. I AM SO ILL PREPARED FOR THIS!!!
I JUST ATE A CHILD'S VOMIT. OH GOD.
So as I’m walking out of the movie theatre, I notice a child puking directly to my right. It got on my foot a little, but I wiped it off outside. After a time, I notice some goo on my hand and for whatever reason, assumed it was something I’d been eating today. I licked it. Guess what it was.
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